Enjoyable weekend

Mark and I have enjoyed the weekend and are very thankful for my improved health.   We have enjoyed  a weekend of friends and family.  I am planning on returning to work tomorrow and hope I can have clear sailing until my surgery July 14.

 I know everything happens for a reason (s).  I am even more a believer now than before.  My eyes have been opened to see God in everything I encounter.  I am thankful for lessons learned always but those I have learned recently seem nearer and dearer.  I would like to name just a few in no particular order.  The role of a care giver should never ever be viewed as easy.  Next to God our families should be the most important priority in life.  I should never take the power of a card, call or visit to someone feeling poorly for granted.  A touch can bring you to tears.  Everyone deserves my time, my prayers and  smile.  Treat others the way you want to be treated.  Tell others the way you feel about them daily not just in a crunch.  We all want to be loved And to love.  Helping others is the rent we pay for living on earth.  A phone call from a friend can change your day.  Understanding and truth will set me free.  Forgiving is setting myself free.  A simple kind gesture makes all the difference in the world.  No one gets up and plans on making mistakes, accept the lesson, learn and move on.

My brother and sister-in-law are in Armenia visiting my nephew Jesse.  Jesse has been there the last two years in the Peace Corps teaching.  Jesse will be coming back to the States in August and Mike and Nancy wanted to visit him and site see.  Please keep them in your prayers.

I am guilty of thinking oh nothing is going to happen to me, I will die of an old age.  Ahh, I am not thinking that way much anymore.  I am not afraid of passing away, but I want to live right now and enjoy the right now.  As always I invite everyone to be in the moment with me.

Yes, it did

Happen again.  May thirteenth was a normal day, Mark and I ate lunch together on the back porch and returned to work.  I suddenly became really sick and left work, called Mark and we quickly left for the ER in Murfreesboro.  Seven hours later I was admitted to the hospital again with diverticulitis.  It was just as painful as the last however I was more of a mess than I have been in my entire life.   I mean ugly mess.  No, I don't mean smeared mascara, lipstick, hair is-a-mess kind of mess, I mean evil demon, head-twisting, fire-breathing just shoot me mess!  And you know what?  Poo was there for it all and for.the.life.of.me I can't understand why he stayed.
The pain plus the pain medicine did not equal relief or calmness.    Three days of pain management and intravenous antibiotics allowed me to come home. I have been in the bed for a week and I am beginning to feel okay again.

I plan to resume life on Tuesday.  Hopefully this dark cloud of impending doom will lift soon and I will feel like myself.  I am ready for blue skies and rainbows!

Thankful for my Poo

I remember twenty nine years ago loving Mark and thinking how deeply I loved him.  Well, the saying "the older you get the less you know" is an under statement.  Young love is  desirable, thrilling, and soul-connecting.  Mature love is all of those but it has depth.  I can't.imagine.life without him.  He is my best friend and my rock.  He makes me happy when skies are gray!  Thank you Mark for being my sunshine and for your love, loyalty, for being my soul mate.  I am so blessed being allowed to be your wife, best friend, and soul mate.  God is good and blesses even a sinner like me.  Thank you God.  He is worthy!

After receiving the great news on Friday, we enjoyed  every minute of the weekend.  We enjoy yard work, flower planting and anything outside.  After a trip early Saturday to Mary's we began planting. I might have lasted fifteen minutes.  However, Mark built window boxes, painted, planted, opened the pool, and took care of me.  The window box is in our bedroom window.  It is beautiful and filled with flowers that I can see from our bed.  I KNOW Mark and I know he did that because I have been spending a lot of time in bed and I can look at them.  Thank you Mark, you are so kind, loving and giving.

Today has not been a good feeling day for me.  However, I have spent most of it in bed I know God, Mark and my family love me and  brighter days are just ahead helps.

Happy Friday

I received "the number" regarding my CA 125 blood test today.  It was six.  When the nurse told me I screamed "Praise the good Lord"! And immediately ask what the number means to me!  She explained that it needed to be under twenty-one and mine is six which is excellent!  I am so thankful.


The next step will be scheduling surgery. I am uncertain if that will be before my colonoscopy or after.  I thought after but it became unclear.  The surgeon  I had when I was in the hospital with diverticulitis wants to be in the OR in case there are any complications.  I am sure scheduling and all the normal pre-surgery preparations  will take time.  So I am content to let God handle this and just be!

My immediate plans are to sleep until the cows come home in the morning.  Then maybe a little dirt digging.  Thank you for the support and encouraging words.  I am thankful, blessed and content.  I can't remember when (if ever)  I have breathed so deeply and been so thankful for every.thing.  God  is good all the time and has reasons and plans for everything.  I am thankful for His love, grace and that He knows even me.  Thank you Lord for loving even me and for your Holy Spirit that I feel, trust and accept.  I am an undeserving sinner and you still care for me and love me.  Thank you.

And again, I invite everyone to be in the moment with me.  Take every thing in and be right there and be thankful, happy and content.

Trying to smile through the tears

I really don't know what caused the sudden burst of tears.  Mark and I traveled to Murfreesboro yesterday for my ultrasound and appointment with Dr.  McGriff.   I became edgy during the ultrasound for some reason.  As I waited for the technician to complete the test I  looked up at the ceiling and thought I.can't.believe.I.am.here.  I feel as though I am in a fog or dream and the fog is going to lift or I am going to wake up and none of the past three weeks will be real.  I know that sounds crazy but I have always been a ball of fire and all the sudden not so much!


Dr.  McGriff was somewhat reassuring about the cysts.  I was blown away when she took at her tape measure to show us the size of one of the cysts.   I guess I really had never thought of how you measure a cyst!?  Even though the appearance of the cyst is normal she order a CA 125 blood test.  Protocol and just as a measurement/precaution.  She explained a high reading/number would be 30-35.  I assume that would indicate cancer?  She explained if my number was even elevated she would refer me to Dr.  Williams in Nashville.  However, if not she would perform a full hysterectomy  in Murfreesboro.  I will know the result tomorrow or Monday.

I feel guilty that I know God has got this.  However, I have moments of worry and doubt.  I know He is with with because I feel Him.  Even though I do not see an actual body I feel His hand and know whatever comes my way I.am.fine.    It is hard to not be in control and harder to admit it.  I am learning and  I know I am here for a reason.  So today has been a good day, a few tears but a good day.

Maybe I will hear from the test tomorrow but Monday is ok too.  I just can't understand how something can be Fed-ex-ed overnight from  the other side of the world  but when it comes to medical tests it can't happen?!

I have so many ask what can I do to help you and your family.  Prayer is the answer.  But not just for me, for everyone that is going through hard times.  I am just me, there are so many others that need us and our prayers.

Again I invite you to be with me, in the moment.